My worst enemy...

... is myself. Or atleast inside me. I really dislike the fact that I've been on my own most of this weekend. It scares me how my enemy within me likes to play games with me, telling me I'm no good and breaking down my self confidence. I've been thinking for some time if I should give him a name, but then in the other hand he's not worthy such recognition. This enemy within tries his best, and sadly though succeeds sometimes, to turn my beloved ones against me. I do know that it has not connection to reality and that it's just all happening in my head, but then again as the Rush-song says:

I believe in what I see, I believe in what I hear
I believe that what I'm feeling changes how the world appears

I'm scared of that feeling. When I'm by myself the enemy within gets the space he normally doesn't have when I have people around me and that frightens me. So the more time I spend alone, the more space he gets. And the more space he gets, the further away from reality he draws me. He tries to tell me that my girlfriend doesn't like me, that I'm no good looking, that I'm no good at what I do and especially that there's nothing I can do about it. However though I know I can. And I've decided today to terminate him. I'm not going to give him a great termination ceremony or anything so I'll just call this the termination of the enemy within. Goodbye.

So what have I been doing lately? Well yesterday night I stayed at home and rented a movie called Wolf Creek which was, how should I say, brutal. The characters acted pretty stupid at times but the story was really no-mercy and the photage reminded of the danish dogme95-style, which is to quote wikipedia; "calling for a return to plausible stories in filmmaking and a move away from artifice and towards technical minimalism." Perhaps Lars Von Trier makes more bells ring for some of you. Anyway, the movie gets a strong 3 out of 5. Perhaps a weak 4. Or is that the same?

I'm playing with Wisingsborgs Slottsorkester again and we are rehearsing for three upcoming shows these days. Information can be found here. We're basicly playing music from the rennaissance era (spelling, anyone?) as a part of Fest i Grevskapet, held by the people on the picture below. Can't say that I'm too excited by it though. To be honest I do it for the money.
That's kind of a silly statement though, since we're very much under payed in my opinion. Anyway, any musical experience is a good experience in the long run... guess I'll have to look upon it that way. The quartet, lead by Erik Danielsson, is:
Erik Danielsson: Mandolin, accoustic guitar
Erik Andersson: Accoustic guitar, bass guitar
Nina Leander: Vocals and harpsicord
Calle Rydberg: Harpsicord and accoustic guitar

Come and see us!

I'm really enjoying the time I get to spend with me lady, Caroline. Perhaps it's a good thing that we live at least one hour drive from each other. Makes the excitement alive perhaps... anyway, she's a wonderful person and I love every minute with her. Going to her summer place in Tylösand on wednesday hopefully. I miss you my dear...

Beam me up, Scotty