The audience is listening

Weekend is finally over and I can relax. Today was sunday and I didn't leave the apartment until 6pm when we went to Thomas place in Bankeryd outside Jönköping. I left the party temporarily and went to Fjällstugan again (the church place where the weeding gig was the day before) to perform at their spring party at 10pm. The gig was ok I guess, but the audience was kinda dull actually. I guess most of them where christians, since it was a church and all. So what I'm about to tell you is probably a sensitive and not too appreciated subject to hear if you're a christian.
Mainly people from 17-25 years old were in the audience. For each song the applauses seemed to decrease but I guess I'm used to that such things can happen so I don't mind much really. I think... hmm, I'm a bit unsure of this I feel.... I try not to think about it too much anyway. I tried having some humour between the songs but I don't know how well it worked out... Anyway when I played the last bars of last song, which was my own one called One Mind, i kinda felt that I had to say something. So I kinda improvised and said "This was not my intention, but I feel I have something to say". I played some random chords and told the audience about how I got baptized in june 2004 and how my depression broke out only 2-3 weeks later. I told them about my struggle with God and my soon fading faith and everything. I told them about all the "kind" words from people who had encouraged me during this period to seek God and continue praying, and how I eventually grew tired of it all and sort of left my faith. Now this was really interesting. One by one, the listeners started getting quiet. They had been talking pretty much between and during my songs through the whole set but when I told them my story, silence spread like a quiet revolution in peoples minds. I didn't serve the audience any answers as any regular preacher would do. No instead I told them "Please don't judge." and said something like "This is my story, it aint pretty but it's the naked truth. I don't have any answer to this, but please don't judge people. My name's Calle, thank you for listening." By this time the whole venue was quiet. Imagine getting 200 people quiet, that's quite a feeling. I guess many of them walked home that night wondering and thinking about the sudden deep and sad words from this young singer/songwriter. I somehow felt that now that I have the chance, I should do it. I'm going to tell you more about how the depression broke out when I continue The Story, which I feel really need to proceed now. That will be my next blog entry I hope.

Setlist:
A Place Among The Clouds (own)
Afraid Not Scared (Ryan Adams )
Misread (Kings of Convenience)
When The Stars Go Blue (Ryan Adams)
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10 minute intermission
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La Cienega Just Smiled (Ryan Adams)
Homesick (Kings of Convenience)
This House Is Not For Sale (Ryan Adams)
I Will Follow You Into The Dark (Death Cab For Cutie)
One Mind (own)

Well, hour is late and my bed is calling.
Beam me up, Scotty